a regal evening

Hailing from Bergen, Norway, Erlend Øye (who also fronts the aptly named band The Whitest Boy Alive) and Eirik Glambek Bøe address the world in hushed musical tones as the Kings of Convenience. If overdriven guitars and blood-curdling screams comprise heavy metal, then this duo's intricate acoustic guitar interchanges and soft, harmonious vocals are the finest silk. They rarely play live, so in desperation I managed to procure 2 tickets to their sell-out show in Copenhagen Tuesday night.

Naturally, I asked an attractive girl if she wanted the extra ticket I "just so happened" to have, but she politely declined and promptly fled the country. I wish I was kidding. All I can figure is the poor thing must really, really hate the band if she's willing to forego a date with me just to avoid listening to them. Tragic, really. Instead, the affair became a bromantic night out. I arrived at Vega late to meet my friend in a calculated effort to skip the opener, whom I'd never heard of and cared nothing about. When I arrived, I was blown away at the veritable sea of bicycles loitering about in the parking lot awaiting their owners. Transportation is indeed done a little differently here.
My entrance into the concert hall was soulcrushing. I'd forgotten that every inhabitant of this city is genetically flawless. I was a squat American tumbleweed in an orchard of Danish oaks. Nevertheless, I found a petite viewing window standing behind a couple where I could intermittently glimpse the stage between their make-out sessions.

But the music. Oh, the music. You could practically see the sound waves emanating from the stage and wafting mellifluously from ear to ear. People didn't dance, they didn't cheer, they sometimes clapped. But mostly, they just listened. Recognizing the subued nature of their material, Erland and Eirik counterbalanced the mood perfectly with upbeat attitudes and candid crowd interaction that included a few funny moments. Of course, they spoke Norwegian the whole time so I understood not a damn word, but people laughed so I assume what was said was funny.
After a double-encore grand finale, they bid farewell and concluded the set. I typically rave about concerts, but this was honestly one of the best I've seen. There weren't the yellow balloons and confetti whirlwinds of Coldplay, the pyrotechnics and poodlesque hairdos of Trans-Siberian Orchestra, but the show gained from what it lacked. That night, KOC maintained the minimilistic mantra affirmed in their lyrics: "you and me alone...sheer simplicity."

the life aquatic

At 5.5 million people, Denmark rests comfortably between Kyrgyzstan and Sierra Leone on the UN list of most populous countries. Yet this nation has established a name for itself on the world stage with breakfast pastries, extraordinarily large dogs and, thanks to their 1997 smash hit "Barbie Girl," Aqua. The group disbanded in 2001, but announced plans to reunite and play 3 scandinavian dates this year. One of these was at The Voice '09, an annual music festival at Tivoli (Copenhagen's amusement park) hosted by the eponymous Danish Top 40 music station. Since the last time I'd heard Barbie Girl was at the bowling alley for my 11th birthday party, attendance was mandatory.

We tried to pregame for the evening's lineup by enjoying some of the park's rides but, after nearly losing our ice cream cones on the Vomitron 4000 (a hilarious but gut-wrenching bastardization of gravity), we waded through the throng of tweens and took our places before the stage. We would stand there, basking in an odiferous haze of body odor, cheap perfume, and hair gel, for the next 7 hours.

After a hodgepodge of Danish acts (Outlandish, Medina, Joey Moe, etc.) co-headliner David Guetta delivered a respectable DJ set, but then the unthinkable happened. Aqua did not play Barbie Girl. They showed off some new material and stumbled through a couple lesser known songs before unceremoniously leaving to a sea of disappointed faces. I felt like a kicked puppy. That's like going to Augusta to watch Tiger Woods play and having him show up with a basketball. My dream of the life aquatic was drowned.

infinite wisdom on finite music

I spent most of this past Thursday poking around on the internet and trying to find new music, but the search process got me to thinking: How much unique music is left to discover? It seems like a stupid question, but possibilities may be running out. Avril Lavigne, for example, was recently sued by rock band Rubinoos for what they claimed were musical and lyrical similarities between her song, "Girlfriend," and their 1979 song, "I Wanna be Your Boyfriend." She had no prior knowledge of the band or their song, it was mere coincidence. But that got my wheels turning...see if you follow me here:

There are 12 major musical keys, 7 natural tonics (A-G) and 5 accidental tonics (A#,C#,D#,F#,G#). Yes, I know you can double-sharp and double-flat, but I'm speaking aurally (to be oxymoronic). There are also 12 minor keys, which are comprised of the same 12 possible notes but sound different enough thanks to scale intervals that I'll count them independently.

There are 7 notes in each key that form the basis of its chords, and 2 chord possibilites (triad or seventh). I know there are things like secondary dominants that add a bit of diversity, but most bands heard on the radio (with the exception of The Killers) don't really use them. As a matter of fact, most pop bands stick to the major chords of the key...a mere 3 choices!

There are 2 different types of meter. And while you can spice things up by writing in 5/8 or something instead of 6/8, most music is heard as either simple or compound meter.

Now think of allll the albums that came out in the US on Tuesday, both from the bands people have heard of and those yet to emerge. Those songs are copyrighted whether people listen to them or not. What about last Tuesday? The Tuesday before that? How about the last 50 years? How about the other 195ish countries putting out music as well?

In conclusion: We're going to run out of new music sometime. I guess then it'll be mash-up artists like Pretty Lights satisfying our musical needs. In the meantime though, there's still new music to be made, found and heard.